Teh tarik stall, kopitiam – new independent institutions

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With the credibility of our institutions at an all-time low, we need only to turn to the local teh tarik stall or coffee shops for the latest independent banter – and biting humour, observes Tota.

A teh tarik stall - Photograph: Wikipedia
A teh tarik stall – Photograph: Wikipedia

With the destruction of all independent institutions – the civil service, the police, the Election Commission, the judiciary, the Registrar of Societies etc which have been turned into Umno-dominated BN tools, Malaysians have created two independent institutions – the Teh Tarik stall and the Kopitiam. These are genuinely Malaysian institutions which cannot be destroyed by the so-called elected nerds like Nazri, Hishammuddin and Rais Yatim.

It is here one meets genuine Malaysians – democratic, free, liberal and vocal, unbothered by race, religion or colour and who embrace our multi-cultural diversity with understanding, perception and magnanimity. Normally, the conversations are light-hearted and the topics discussed are politics, corruption, the rotten judiciary, cronyism, nepotism, the partisan police, the rotten MSM, the unfair electoral system, the rising cost of living and the joke of an Election Commission.

The way the country is governed by a deadwood cabinet offers plenty of scope for cynicism, ridicule, humour, sarcasm, satire and crushing criticism. If one keeps one’s eyes and ears wide open, one can learn what Nazri’s “nobodys” are thinking and feeling on the ground. If one is alert, one will realise that the comments of Joe Public are as good as those of the better bloggers. Because the comments are articulated in public, the language is polished and cultured.

(Below is a sampling of what Tota heard in the last couple of weeks at the Teh Tarik and Kopitiam. (JP stands for Joe Public).

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JP1: In Norway organisers of ralllies need to give the polic only a few hours notice. Our police require 10 days advance notice.
JP2: Our police need time to prepare the water-cannon, chemical-laced water, tear gas and razor wire for barricades-lah.

**********

JPI: The Registrar of Societies (ROS) must be the laziest civil servant in the country. He took almost 10 long years to approve the application of Parti Socialis Malaysia (PSM).
JP2: I don’t think so. Umno Baru’s application was submitted on a Saturday and the party was registered by the following Monday.
JP1: Umno Baru who, PSM who? Everyone is equal under the law, mah.

**********

JP1: Chandra Muzaffar must really be daft to suggest that Anwar is unfit to be PM because of the baggage he carries.
JP2: If Anwar’s baggage can fill a car boot, Najib’s baggage would require a cargo plane!

**********

JP1: Najib says Hadi is more fit to be PM than Anwar because he does not carry baggage.
JP2: Najib’s thinking skills do not inclulde self-analysis and reflection. Despite his baggage – Altantuya, the Scorpene submarine scandal, the theft of jet engines during his watch as Defence Minister and the corruption revealed by Bala and Deepak – he believes he is fit to be PM!

**********

JP1: Soi Lek criticised DAP for being “consistently inconsistent”.
JP2: I think he wants DAP to be consistently consistent like him – always take the same woman, to the same hotel and use the same room.
JP3: No wonder he was caught with his pants down.

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**********

JP1: Soi Lek said, “Do not let DAP mislead you.”
JP2: He should have added, “Let MCA do it”.

**********

JP1: Chua Tee Yong says Kit Siang is masking his weakness by standing for election in Johor.
JP2: Yong phut forgot that his adulterous father was unmasked in Batu Pahat.
JP3: Young phut indeed – wagging his tail like an Umno-obedient puppy.

**********

JP1: I think Soi Lek should join the MACC.
JP1: God forbid! What does he know about investigating corruption?
JP2: I don’t mean the toothless malaysian Anti Corruption Corporation (MACC) but the Malaysian Association of Chinese Comedians cheekily named MACC.

**********

JP1: The latest spin on the 72 million ringgit is that Rosmah didn’t buy it. It came to Putrajaya for display.
JP2: When the ring scandal blew up, why did Rosmah say that she saved all her pocket money from her schooldays to be able to buy it?
JP3: Yes, the pocket money worked out to RM200,000 a week!
JP1: She and her husband can shamelessly hoodwink the public without batting an eyelid.

Tota is the pseudonym of a regular contributor to our Thinking Allowed Online section.

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tunglang
25 Apr 2013 10.14pm

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Cheers Kopi-O kau kau!